Lady Gaga/Jo Calderone and Drag
I’m pretty sure that by now most everybody knows who Lady Gaga is. I’d also bet that most people have polar opinions about her. Either love her and can’t get enough, or just want her Little Monsters to zip it.
Recently, somebody named Jo Calderone who most people (including myself) believe to be Lady Gaga in drag has posed for Japanese Vogue. In many ways I feel that Lady Gaga has a very queer gender expression. When she performs en femme she has the feeling of a drag queen. As if she’s expressing femininity from a male place.
Now with this Jo Calderone person, there’s the feeling and appearance of expressing masculinity from a female place. In many ways I believe that the way Gaga expresses her gender could very well be bigender.
Consider the sexuality of Gaga. She’s often been quoted of thinking of women while having sex with men as the inspiration of Poker Face. Although gender and sexuality are not the same thing, is it possible that when she has sex with men she does it in a “masculine” manner? And when she has sex with women she does it in a “feminine” manner? Based on what I know, it seems as if Gaga prefers masculine or androgynous women. I wonder if her preference in men is towards the androgynous side of the gender expression spectrum.
Thoughts?
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![Kyle: And yet even another viewpoint.
gavinsaurusrex:
(via queersecrets)
I never thought of it that way. This is awesome. :]](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l7d7vflxG41qcpj7wo1_500.gif)
Kyle: And yet even another viewpoint.
(via queersecrets)
I never thought of it that way. This is awesome. :]
(via queersecrets)…
Kyle: Here is some more, great discussion on the Queer Secrets issue.
that’s not a secret. that’s just a hurtful thing to tell any transguy, and the fact that you had to post it to queersecrets shows how much you know its a wrong thing to say. we already go through dysphoria and feel like everyone, everything is against our manhood. why do people try to make us feel worse?
(via queersecrets)
take this shit down queersecrets.
I don’t know how to feel about this. On the one hand I’m pissed that someone is insulting a transguy.
But on the other hand, from the wording of the secret, it seems like maybe this transguy abused someone. It says right there, “this has nothing to do with your female body.”
It doesn’t matter whether you are cis or trans; abuse is just unacceptable. I’ve heard cisguys being told they are “not real men” for abusing women.
But I don’t even know if that’s true. I’m just confused by this secret.
I see absolutely nothing wrong with this secret. The person who posted it obviously did NOT mean to tell him that he wasn’t a real man because he is trans. The person said that he wasn’t a real man because of the way that he acts. Transmen can be assholes just like cismen.
This is exactly what I was thinking. I just couldn’t put it into words.
HERE IS THE THING.
this is something that transmen are accutely sensitive to - the issue of being a “real man.” I think it is incredibly offensive and just cruel to EVER say “you are not a real man” in this blanket way. If it is to a specific person who really wronged you, then that’s yr issue with him. Putting it in this public arena with no specific target is absolutely unacceptable. Talk about being triggering.
Also the person obviously wanted it to be triggering. That’s why “you are not a real man” is so fucking big and stands out and you can hardly read the text at the bottom, which also references his “female body.”
This was meant to hurt and sting and used transmen’s insecurities about their masculinity. And was posted publicly with a generic audience. So no this is not okay on any front.
This should not have been posted and I am unfollowing queer secrets until they start censoring blatant transphobic and cruel “secrets”.
I completely agree with Bastian here. I’m not going to lie, this was a really triggering secret. I actually felt a little sick with nerves after reading it. Usually I’m really good about shrugging stuff like this off - it’s why generally I like Queersecrets. But this one .. no. Just no. You can really tell that the person who posted it KNOWS how wrong it is to say that to a transguy - especially given the way the picture was presented. It’s really blatant. And it comes across as a message to all trans folk - I realize it was aimed at one particular person, but due to the method of delivery it actually comes across as a generalization to all transmen.
I guess I still stand by my earlier statement that sometimes trans/bi/poly/pan-phobic secrets are okay to post because it brings certain issues out into the limelight to be discussed. (Without a discussion, these things become internalized and deeply rooted and people. It’s like exercising a demon, I suppose.) But maybe there is a limit after all. Perhaps that limit is a blurry line, so I understand the owner of queersecrets not being sure where to draw it. I honestly don’t think this queersecret should have been posted though, because it’s simply hateful. The OP should have kept it to themselves.
This was a submission to Queer Secrets that a mutual friend had submitted. They wish to remain anonymous. Queer Secrets did not post this secret. It is thought that this secret being submitted created this response from queer secrets about their not censoring secrets, etc.
Kyle: Firstly, for those who are unaware, it’s crucial to understand the nature of some of the secrets being posted on this blog. Many mention the increase in out trans folks as trans being a trend, or the idea of being trans “if only it weren’t for ___.” Statements that if said in a trans space would get you an immediate glare and “oh, pleeeease.” Well, more like a serious conversation like this post is intended to be.
For starters, these kinds of statements are severely transphobic, pushing the nature of our identities and lives to the category of “unimportant” or “trivial.” And when left in the open unchallenged, they are seen as valid statements. Which, yes, they are valid opinions; people have opinions that exist. But they untrue of the community as a whole, and in that way they are not valid statements, statements with truth. And where this can turn into an issue in a forum like Queer Secrets is that people can see these statements as true, or even knowing they aren’t be overwhelmed by the amount and internalize the messages, with no counterpoints presented alongside to let them know it simply isn’t true.
Now, to this secret which wasn’t posted, recognize with the background I just gave that it is true. There is too much unchecked transphobia posted in the secrets and in a lot of queer spaces in general. In one of my activist groups, I still get asked really personal questions that no one would dare ask any of the cis folks, and this is a group that actively campaigns against shit like that. Gender is so deeply embedded in our upbringing that perhaps it is just that hard to tell when one is being transphobic or not. In my workplace and school, I often relate stories of incidents that I am then told have to be reported, and each time I ask, “Was that really discrimination? Was that really cissexist?” I didn’t even know. But tangent aside, transphobia is everywhere, and somehow especially blatant in this venue until one stops and looks at it, realizes it’s there, and works to change it.
Now, would I recommend unfollowing? Personally, no. I appreciate the honesty of the venue and I love the amount of folks that step up and reply to the transphobic secrets. I also like to see what the current mindset is. Case-in-point are a lot of recent Degrassi secrets, about the FTM character, Adam. Kids are worried his presence might delegitimatize their identities. While some people say, hey, that’s transphobic to think that, look at the real issue. Kids who are otherwise trans are not thinking that, they are simply worried about the timing. I know when Thomas Beattie was all over the TV I was pretty darn upset because other people were going to think I was strange. I don’t think he’s strange, but other people might, and then that reflects to me. That’s what those secrets are saying. Another option as opposed to unfollowing is that they could stop posting those kinds of secrets. But again, what is seen as transphobic can vary from person to person, and also, since when is censorship something we want to support? I would rather see hurtful opinions than know that things are being hidden and covered up.
So if creating a safe space free of transphobia is something you care about, please consider unfollowing Queer Secrets. Weigh the options, that unfollowing can send a message that those are not OK to pass on, or that unfollowing can also send messages that approve of censoring the secrets, or otherwise altering safe spaces to speak freely. It’s a tough issue, but I hope this uncovers some of it for you.
Kyle: I agree with the majority that has already been said, and things that have been said by other tumblr users about Queer Secrets.
As many of you probably know, the concept behind Queer Secrets originated from the blog PostSecret. With PostSecret, readers create their own post cards and snail mail ‘em to a Frank Warren’s PO Box. Since there are so many secrets only a handful are actually posted on the website.
The satisfaction from sending in a secret and allowing your thoughts and feelings out there anonymously is the main component that relieves people. Getting it posted on the site is just a bonus.
Queer Secrets is great in the way that it’s an outlet for people to let out their queer secrets (dur). Some of the things done by the blog are positive, others are not. Although I have enjoyed posting and relating to some of the secrets, I think the blog has lost the original charm.
When I log onto tumblr with the 40 or so people that I follow, it takes awhile to catch up with whatever I’ve missed. I think it would be a bit better if the blog owner maybe picked out a few (say, 25?) of the best submissions to post daily. It would make the blog more like the original PostSecret and might eliminate people that could be posting specifically to piss people off.
In the begining a lot of the posts were cute, quirky, and in ways positive. Now it’s fairly depressing, filled with misunderstandings, and all sorts of phobias -isms and fetishizing/objectification. Since there is complete anonymity the user posting their secret they don’t have to worry about the backlash from ticked off trans people, queer people, people of color, etc. Getting called out on your privilege or phobia just does not seem to hold its weight when given the anonymity of the internet.
So, what options does Queer Secrets have? What should they do? And, what options do we have?
Queer Secrets can trim down the amount of posts. Since there are an estimated 100 submissions daily, cutting that down to 1/4th of the secrets seems like something reasonable that could help the blogger and the reader. The main reason why I believe most people submit their secrets relates back to PostSecret, just writing down something to take the weight off your shoulders. This is what I think they should do but since I am not running the blog I have no say in this. They can do whatever they want.
The other option is to continue what they are doing and the way they are doing it. People will continue to post secrets that many may consider inappropriate. There will possibly be continuing discussion surounding the thoughts behind the posts. Some might learn, some might not learn.
You, the reader also have the ability to unfollow. If those who disagree with QueerSecrets are a significant number of followers, and all “unfollow” it would be sending the message of “hey, we don’t like the -phobia, or -ism.”
If you want to continue following that’s also perfectly fine. Do what you can, reblog in the hopes that the people posting hurtful/hateful/ignorant secrets read whatever you write in an attempt to educate. Ignore whatever secrets you can’t deal with.
Ann Coulter Homocon Image
(click image for an article about Homocon)
Kyle: There are just so many things I dislike about this ad and Homocon all together. There is no real lefty get together. There are HRC events but even those are fairly “in the middle” in terms of political sides. When I looked up the cost for the event I found it’s $250 a person. So, I guess it’s safe to assume this event is strictly for middle class/upper middle class conservative gay people.
Then…there’s this ad/image used to promote Homocon. I really didn’t know that Ann Coulter was in any way comparible to gay icon Judy Garland. I also didn’t know that being straight or conservative is related to a person’s masculinity.
The T Word: Taking on the Transphobic Slur →
“So I hear the T word from supposed allies. And of course, one can always hear it from haters. But I also hear it from other trans people, particularly other trans men. And that pisses me off.
Kyle: This is a wonderful article about the infamous t-word written by a trans person I really respect. While it educated me in an area I in which I want to be impeccably well-versed, it also made me feel like I needed to do some educating. See, similar to Tobey Hill-Meyer’s What Transmisogyny Looks Like (a whole other entry or more), this article fails to look at the diversity of word usage in our community. The t-word is not like the n-word. There is not the same hatred and history wrapped up inside it. It also has not been universally used in the same way among trans folks. Some communities use it as their only self-identified label. Some use it as a glamorous, secondary label (I believe these are the trans men referred to). Still others recognize it as the painful insult it most often is. But the thing that I feel I need to drive home is that personal experience never equals the end all be all, especially when it comes to drawing thick lines across experiences transecting social justice.
(via queersecrets)
Kyle: Then don’t. Seriously, you can possibly pass with long hair and you several guys have long hair.
Kyle: I remember a trans guy that used to have amazing long hair. He loved his hair a whole lot from what I could tell. The trans community pressured him to cut his hair and focus on passing. This guy stood by his decision to keep his long hair. Over time he did cut it for his own reasons, not because he felt pressured. Moral of the story is: you can have long hair and be a trans man but it will be hard road.
(via queersecrets)
Kyle: So… Are you saying you’d break up with him because of how he looks downstairs? That is shallower than shallow. And is that to say that cis parts *don’t* look really freaky? ‘Cause really it all looks kinda weird when you think about it.
Kyle: Genitals in general look freaky. I don’t intend to say this as a “OMG CROTCHES ARE GROSS!” but I think they are not the most astetically pleasing part of the body. If I was overwhelmingly uncomfortable with the way my partner’s parts looked like I would just not look. Lucky for me, I’ve never had to deal with that.
